What was your first culture shock? For me it was during a high school exchange program in Austria. When I arrived at my host parents' house in the evening, they asked me if i was hungry. I said ”no, not really” in a Turkish way, expecting that my hosts insist and bring food anyway. Because it is how it works in the Turkish culture. That was the day I went to bed with an empty stomach and learned about the low context, high context cultures from own experience without knowing the theory behind. For me it was more like: “Never refuse food in Austria when you are really hungry.”
Regardless of previous experience abroad, knowledge of the country or the reason behind expatriation, nearly everyone experiences some degree of culture shock when initially moving to a new country.
In order to cope with your own culture shock, it can be helpful to put a focus on the four different stages of culture shock.
- Honeymoon: You arrived in a new place, everything is new and exciting! You are motivated to explore your new neighbourhood, trying local food, maybe decorating your new home. You do sightseeing like a tourist and feel euphoric. Like all the honeymoons, this stage eventually ends and you go to the next one.
- Frustration: Nothing feels new anymore. You may have to deal with a language barrier or just cannot read between the lines. You may feel frustrated, misunderstood. Many aspects of the new culture begin to irritate you, because “some things just do not make sense!”, “people are so cold and distant” or “so superficially interested”. You may think, moving abroad was a wrong decision and you see your own culture in a romantic light and idealize your life back.
- Adjustment: This is the stage where life gets better. You have new routines, become familiar with the local customs, improve your local language skills. You have made new friends and do not feel isolated anymore. You may still face difficulties, but you developed your own coping mechanism.
- Adaptation: You feel comfortable and integrated in your new country, and developed a sense of belonging. You are not as euphoric as in the honeymoon stage but you understand and appreciate both the differences and similarities and take the best of both cultures. Finally you feel at home.
Note that not everyone makes it to the adaptation stage and feel at home in the new country. Some are stuck in the frustration stage, feel alienated and suffer. Some are slowly withdrawing from society and build their own bubble with people from the own cultural circle. On the contrary, some people completely assimilate in the new culture and leave their own identity behind.
If you are in the frustration stage and struggling in the new culture, don’t worry! Many go through the same. And I can tell you, it only gets better. Coaching can help you to facilitate the adaptation process and make the best of your time abroad.
That gives hope!